


that boy is crazy

by leothequeenn (orphan_account)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, Muke - Freeform, a little dash of lashton, and a little sprinkle of cake but like barely, fetus muke bc we're trash lol, its got like implied cashton, this is a christmas present for my bestie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-03-01 00:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2752052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/leothequeenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael always has to make some comment about Luke, and Luke gets enough attitude to fight back. The problem is, Calum's sick and tired of hearing it and Ashton's never even experienced it before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. that boy is crazy

**Author's Note:**

> this is for hemmings_hugso_o on instagram, because she makes me happy. this is also kinda like a second christmas present i suppose because i felt bad for having the first one be super short so hopefully this would make up for it!
> 
> this is kinda an inside joke? (along with corn hemmings but we won’t talk about that here) we just kinda screamed this idea at each other on the comments on one of my pictures lolol sorry

Honestly, Calum didn’t know why he or Ashton signed up for this shit. Was Calum used to this whole thing between the two other friends? Yes. Was Ashton? Absolutely not. Ashton had never been around long enough to know that those two -- Michael and Luke -- were dangerous being next to each other. They still had a sort of rivalry, thanks to the hate back in year nine, but it had faded only enough to where they could actually be in the same room. Nicknames were still thrown; insults bouncing off the walls so many times that Calum never knew if they were joking, and often times it had the littlest one of the group collapsed on the floor in Calum’s room while the _Responsible One_ (Michael’s nickname for Calum) was busy scolding him -- which looked incredibly funny to anyone who saw since Calum was shorter than Michael.

So, Ashton hadn’t really been around to see what kind of fights they could get into -- petty ones, sometimes there were mentions of year nine -- and sometimes, without having Ashton there, Calum just couldn’t handle it anymore and he made sure to play the role of Passive-Aggressive Peacemaker, which really didn’t make any sense to him. But he didn’t care, as long as neither one got hurt. Calum didn’t think they would actually hurt each other, since they had gotten over that, but it was still a possibility and so Calum would just quietly watch them scream it out in the middle of the room.

And so whenever Calum saw the beginning stage of Michael starting to like the idea of absolutely brawling his bandmate -- kind of like a cat spotting its prey and it getting ready to pounce -- he glanced over at Ashton, who had stopped playing his drums and was smiling happily, and the Kiwi boy almost sighed as sort of a warning. Michael looked up, starting to set down his guitar, a scowl on his face and his eyes trained on the blond that was sitting to the left of Calum.

“Guys,” Calum muttered quietly, another warning, but Michael still ignored him and he could see Ashton sensing that the room’s atmosphere was changing, it had suddenly become cold and vicious, and the drummer was practically squirming around in his chair. “That was good work, you guys, we did awesome for practice!” Calum tried to change the mood, tried to demolish whatever plan Michael had for picking on the youngest.

He knew that Michael had heard him, but that still didn’t stop Michael from saying, “You were off-key, Hemmings.”

“Was it _really_?” Luke snapped quickly, like he knew that Michael was going to say something about it. Calum had noticed he had been struggling a bit, not too much, but how was Michael to know? Michael was completely to the right of Calum, while Luke was on the left, and was completely too involved in playing his own damn guitar to notice. “Was it really off-key, Clifford?”

“Yes,” Michael said, tilting his head to the side and creating an awkward silence -- that weird, quiet silence before someone starts screaming -- with one simple word. Calum could physically see Luke trying to come up with something to say, something to push Michael over the edge, but before he could Michael hissed out, “Also, your fringe sucks.”

“Oh my god,” Calum and Ashton said at the same time, but Ashton almost sounded offended while Calum’s tone was flat, since he had heard it before. “Just shut up about his fringe, oh my god.”

“What? I’m telling the truth.” Michael stood, watching the blond with a smirk. “No matter how many straighteners he buys or whatever gels he uses, it’s still gonna suck.”

“Oh my god, you two are _babies_ ,” Calum groaned, rolling his eyes as Luke stood, and Ashton snickered -- clearly trying to lighten the mood -- whenever the two stood face to face. Michael still towered over Luke, and that of course brought a wicked smirk to his face.

“At least I’m not this huge dimwit who makes fun of other people’s fringes, you should probably listen to your best friend.” Luke growled, staring straight up at Michael and Ashton dropped a drumstick he was twirling.

“U-Uh, al-alright, mates, let’s not get too heated, I-I mean, we were talking about fringes, let’s just keep it at that, alright?” Ashton mumbled and Calum once again rolled his eyes.

It took Michael a moment to retaliate, but whenever he did all that came out of his mouth was, “What the fuck did you just say to me?” which of course, ended up fueling enough attitude to cause Michael to try and poke at Luke’s chest.

“You heard what I said. Maybe. If you’re smart enough to even process what I said, you dropout.” Calum looked back at Ashton, whose eyes had gone wide. Yeah, he’s heard that one before. He normally tried to stop Luke from saying that, since Calum _himself_ had dropped out to be in this band, but at that moment he didn’t care because what started out as a fight about fringes ( _really? come on_ ) now was a test of intelligence and Calum just didn’t really care anymore. It was their fault.

The Kiwi boy could also tell that Ashton was getting nervous with the way things were going, since Michael had started spewing out garbage about Luke being a mum’s boy with a stupid fringe and using practically every cuss word to throw at the small blond. To make Ashton feel better, Calum decided to sit back, turn around to Ashton, mutter out, “they do this a lot, just give it a few minutes,” and play some bass lines for a song.

“But I’m really confused. Why did it escalate to _that_?” Ashton asked quietly over the sounds of Luke now shouting his lungs out to the taller boy -- what they were talking about now, Calum wasn’t sure, but one glance over toward Michael and Calum could easily compared him to an angry leopard. Do people do that, add animal characteristics to people and add cheesy similes about wild cats? What was he saying, of course they do. _Do they? Nah, probably not, but Michael looked like a cat on the kill_.

“They hated each other in year nine, wanted to rip each other’s throats out -- with their own teeth, probably.” Calum said, finally turning back to Ashton. “You get used to it, but until then, I dunno, just focus on me because this is bullshit.”

“Why are they in a band together then?” _You know what, Ashton? Good question._

“Well, they somehow became friends in year ten,” Calum said, strumming away at his guitar. “They still have that feeling of a rival, I guess? But they’re over it. Well”-- Calum gestured to behind him -- “ _somewhat_ over it.” Ashton nodded his head, looking behind Calum and the black-haired boy really didn’t want to know what they were doing. He was only hearing what the two were saying to each other and it was just almost _incredible_ that that big of a fight broke out because of Michael saying Luke was off-key and that his fringe sucked.

So, with that, Calum continued playing. He continued to quietly strum away at his guitar, lazily plucking at the strings with his fingers, and Michael turned around, yelling, “Calum, _quit it_! You keep interrupting me!”

“O-Okay, I think it’s time for me to leave--” Ashton said, sheepishly standing up, holding onto his drumsticks tightly. He got past Calum before Luke stopped him, holding up his hands. His eyebrows were furrowed upwards, like he was truly _shocked_ that Ashton would be leaving and it almost made Calum want to laugh.

“Ashton, we are so sorry, we didn’t mean for it to get out of hand, we are so sorry.” Luke rushed his sentences, slurring them together hurriedly so that the eldest would stay.

“I’m not sorry at all.” Michael commented under his breath, but it was still loud enough for the entire band to hear and Luke groaned, rolling his eyes and turning back toward the tallest, yelling out and asking why he isn’t sorry. Ashton shifted foot to foot, backing up away from the arguing married couple -- Calum liked to joke that they were like that -- and he glanced back at the black haired boy for comfort.

It was whenever Michael screamed out something about, “no wonder you have no friends” or something along those lines that Calum decided, _ohh_ , he was going to get involved.

“Um, excuse me, Michael, but _back off_ , please. You didn’t have friends until you met me.” Calum snapped, and Ashton could see that he did because whenever the boy stood up, the drummer stepped back a bit. “Do you really want to start fighting about this?”

“...You’re supposed to defend me, Cal.” Michael muttered and the Kiwi boy rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you just said that to me.”

“I can’t believe you just said that to _him_!” Calum defended and pointed at Luke, whose eyes were watering and _fuck_ , Ashton just had to leave. Ashton just simply tried to book it, but Luke pulled him back and kept apologizing for this, he got him into this and he was so sorry, but Ashton kept shaking his head and saying that he was sorry too. It got to the point where Calum asked, “if you don’t like him, then why do you keep cuddling up to him?” and Luke’s eyes widened.

“H-Hey, I can choose who I cuddle with, thank you very much!” Luke yelled, and that brought him back into the fight that only got louder, due to Calum abandoning his passive-aggressive post and getting involved. Which, left Ashton by himself and the drummer never really liked that feeling.

“Um, guys?” Ashton asked quietly, being pushed with his back pressed against the wall to avoid getting pulled into conflict. He was really starting to see himself as the peacemaker -- well, he was failing, but he was trying and that was all that mattered. He actually wanted to see himself _out_ , but that didn’t seem like it was going to be an option anytime soon. “Guys? Band practice?” he tried, but still never got a response since the three were too busy screaming their heads off about nothing.

_They do this a lot, just give it a few minutes…_

And, so Ashton decided to go with Calum’s advice.

But when a few minutes had gone by -- or was it ten minutes? He wasn’t really sure -- and they were still fighting, Ashton decided on breaking the fight up one more time. “I don’t really understand what you all are fighting about?” he said, making it seem more like a question than a statement, since he was hoping that someone would explain it to him.

_Michael and Luke started fighting about fringes and school life, then friends and then Calum got pulled in and now they’re all fighting about cuddling and who gets who? What?_

“Um… What? Guys! I’m missing the point here! Why are you all fighting?” he tried louder, he tried screaming it over them so they would at least pay attention to him and answer him. “I’m so confused, why are we arguing about who cuddles who?”

Ashton, unfortunately, saw something in them all snap and they turned toward him quickly, yelling out a loud, “ _What_?” (or a “ _shut up_!” from Michael) accidentally before all of them seem to register that they just screamed at _Ashton_ , and they all started spewing out apologies instead.

“Can someone just fucking tell me why you’re all fighting over who cuddles who or whose fringe sucks more or having no friends in school?” Ashton grumbled, scrunching up his shoulders to look at the three younger boys. “Seriously, knock it off!”

What Ashton was not prepared for, though, was the three of them coming toward him, enveloping him in a group hug, Calum’s head nudged in the crook of his neck with the two other boys on either side of him. “I dunno, I just kinda went off…” Michael answered and Ashton nodded his head, because really, it was Michael’s fault. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Luke and Calum whispered and the drummer giggled a little.

“We’re gonna go far, lads.” Ashton said quietly, smiling a big smile and laughing a bit to himself. “We’re gonna go very far.” Michael glanced toward Luke, and Ashton could see a certain fondness laced in them. _That boy is crazy_. Ashton thought, staring up at the ceiling, still grinning ear to ear.

Calum suggested they get back to practice, and Michael was a little glad that they could still practice. The second-oldest boy sat close to Luke, helping him a bit whenever he heard that he was going off-key, and he had promised Calum not to flip out like that again over something as stupid as a fringe (though, Michael still insisted that his was better than Luke’s). Ashton watched how Michael looked at Luke and glanced over to Calum, before gesturing over to the two boys with his eyes.

Calum laughed. “It’s complicated, those two. I told you, they’re like a married couple.”

He laughed even harder when Michael ducked his head and Luke went bright red in the face. Ashton snickered and did the _ba-dum-tssst!_ with his drums. “It’s true though,” the drummer agreed, causing the two boys to blush and play fight. “Yep, completely true.”

“Shut up…” Michael murmured, hiding his face as he stared at his guitar strings, completely avoiding the smug looks on Calum’s and Ashton’s faces. “You guys suck.”

**.x.**


	2. the green-eyed monster called you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ever since the stupid incident, Luke has been hanging out with Ashton more and more, and it's pissing Michael off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kind of like a little epilogue-y thing? i dunno how to describe it but its pretty muke af and cashton af

Ever since that little incident, Luke had started hanging out with Ashton more. No one was particularly too jealous of it, though Michael had teased Calum of showing some signs of the green-eyed monster, but he would always come back with, “yeah, well what about you?”

So much to the point where Michael couldn’t really decide what was pissing him off. It could’ve been that it was Ashton that Luke was hanging out with, or it was maybe the fact that Luke wasn’t hanging out with _him_ , but either way, Calum’s words were getting to him and maybe Cal was right?

Maybe he was jealous. He always clung to Luke after that big fight and that made it awkward between him and Ashton. He made sure to do it in front of Ashton, hanging all over him and pulling him away and hugging him whenever he could because he was starting to get jealous with how much time the blond spent with the eldest. It was starting to become more than Michael, and that was definitely not okay.

And so whenever Ashton announced that he and Luke were going to watch a movie on the couch, that it was their movie day, _yeah_ , it kind of _pissed_ Michael off. Calum was in the shower and the two had said that they were going to watch a movie with just the two of them involved and the two of them this and the two of them that -- and Michael quietly asked to talk to Luke for a moment.

“You’re going to watch a movie with him? Alone?” Michael asked and Luke arched an eyebrow.

“Uh, yeah.” The blond then smirked, looking up at the boy. “Why? Are you jealous, Mikey?”

Ah. There it was. Michael could instantly tell him what had been bothering him, but he didn’t think that it would even matter to him. Would it? It couldn’t hurt to try. “Yeah.” Michael said without missing another beat and Luke paused.

“Wh-what? Wait, what? Are you serious or are you fucking with me?” Luke asked and Michael wanted to laugh, he threw Luke off his game so hard, but he didn’t feel the need to laugh because _he thought he wasn’t serious_.

“Yeah, I’m serious, idiot.”

More pauses. Michael almost regretted telling him, but as soon as Luke said, “I’ll be back,” he heard the boy go up the stairs and turn on the shower. Well. Okay then. At least that postponed their movie date.

**.x.**

“Good job, Mikey, you successfully have broken Luke. Would you like a gold star?” Calum muttered, his phone telling him that Luke had been in the shower for up to two hours. Doing what, Michael wasn’t sure, but it was funny as hell and he really didn’t mind that he just confessed that he was jealous of him hanging out with Ashton.

“A gold star sounds pretty nice right now,” Michael answered, looking over at the boy who was sitting on his bed. Ashton was still downstairs, waiting for Luke, and he sort of felt bad that the poor drummer was waiting. “But, I didn’t think he would react like that, and you gotta admit, it’s pretty funny.”

Calum had to bite back a laugh. “Shut up, Mikey. Just let the two boys hang out.”

“You’re jealous too, don’t try to hide anything.”

Michael was interrupted by hearing the shower door close, and he heard Luke walking down the stairs. His eyes widened, and Calum shook his head. “You’re doing that scary, cat on the hunt lookin’ thing, Mikey…” Calum warned and Michael almost wanted to ask what the fuck he was talking about, but he didn’t care too much at that point and being compared to a cat hunting was cool anyway, so he didn’t mind.

Michael headed toward the door, and rolled his eyes whenever Calum grabbed his arm. “Cal, please. Why the fuck would they not invite anyone else? That’s not only rude but seriously, that’s not cool--”

“Maybe they just wanna watch a movie, Michael, shut up.” he explained, but it was vague, only because Calum himself didn’t know why they wanted to watch a movie by themselves. “Just leave them be, you already made Ashton wait two hours while Luke did whatever in the shower.”

“No, Calum, let me do this.” he argued, tugging on his arm, trying to break free. Calum insisted that he stay up here, leaving the two alone downstairs because that wasn’t really fair to Ashton, but Michael finally got free, and in one quick move, he was out the door.

Calum of course, chased after him.

But it was until Michael saw Luke that he didn’t know if he actually wanted to do this or not. Calum was right, he was basically interrupting _their_ time and he had ruined it previously. But as soon as he saw Luke all cuddled up to Ashton, those feelings went out the window.

“Luke,” he hissed and Luke looked over, eyes growing wide and he got up and ran, and Michael would’ve laughed if it weren’t for the fact that he was so super jealous.

And what was Michael to do when the blond ran away from him? Run after him, of course. “Come here, you little shrimp!” he shouted, chasing the blond into the kitchen.

Michael unfortunately had Calum tagging after him, and he momentarily turned back to see Calum wearing a scowl on his face. _Eh. Whatever_ , he didn’t really care. When he looked back, he saw the cupboard door in front of him close. _Oh my god, you’re kidding_ , Michael thought sourly, getting to the large cupboard Hemmings was currently hiding in. He could tell that Luke was holding onto the door with all of his life and it was a little funny. He felt bad, of course, but _still_. The fact that he could fit in the cupboard was funny.

The tallest of the band looked back, watching Ashton sitting on the couch awkwardly, but that was quickly forgotten when Calum muttered out, “What is wrong with you?” and everything came crashing back to him.

“Lukey, get out of the damn cupboard.” Michael said, returning his attention back to the cupboard and he saw Calum roll his eyes. “Get out, Luke! Or I’m gonna start talkin’ about hair products and love!”

“What the fuck is happening?” Calum whispered, mostly to himself, but Michael laughed a little and continued on with his speech about gels and other various hair-care products to help his fringe. The black-haired boy returned to talk with Ashton and Michael took it that he gave up on trying to understand his tactics.

“Ugh, come on! Get out of the damn cupboard, I am taller than you.” Michael grumbled, knocking on the dark wood.

“That’s why I’m in here, you loser!”

Almost instantaneously, the room went silent. How was Michael supposed to react to that? Not only was it funny, but he was trying to think of something witty to say. He couldn’t just laugh, that wouldn’t work. He could hear Ashton giggling a little at the situation (well, it was either that or Calum said something funny).

But suddenly, the tallest boy’s lips curled up into a smirk. “I’m gonna steal your straighteners, fringe boy.” And with that, Michael spun on his heels and started running out toward the living room. There was a bang, Michael assumed it was Luke falling to the floor after scrambling out of the cupboard, and he quickly made it up to Luke’s room, grabbing all of the straighteners he had. He could hear Luke running through the living room, after being stopped by Ashton and Michael made a quick retreat down the stairs, just in time for Luke to try and grab him -- but he missed and the two boys took off back into where the other two were.

Calum just sighed. Ashton groaned, rolling his eyes as the two ran in and out of the living room. Finally, Ashton stood, grabbing onto Luke and holding him and hugging him, successfully getting him to stop chasing after the tallest boy.

Michael snapped one of Luke’s straighteners at them, watching them. The energy in the room changed, Calum shifted and Michael was able to tell that he knew what he was doing. “Oooh,” he hissed, “you’re gonna regret hanging out with the kangaroo over there, mate.”

Like Calum predicted, Michael ran back upstairs, Luke’s straighteners in his hands. Luke sat there for a moment, trying to process what the hell Michael had meant from that, but he couldn’t help it and tried to break free of Ashton’s grip.

When they heard the bathroom door close and lock, that’s when Ashton let go of the youngest boy and Luke ran upstairs, hearing bottles being dropped and opened and he kept knocking on the door, begging for Michael to open it. Michael was just too busy opening and throwing gels and shampoos and stuff for his hair to even care.

Whenever he heard Luke rest his head against the door, he paused. “M-Mikey, s-seriously, stop it, l-let me in…” Luke pouted and he sniffled.

 _Fuck_.

“Michael, open the damn door.” Calum’s voice.

“Seriously, mate, too far...” Ashton’s voice.

 _Fuuuuck_.

Michael sighed, setting down the conditioner bottle he was in the process of squeezing out and walked over to the door, being careful not to step on one of his bottles. He opened the door, looking down at the youngest blond. What he did really surprised him next, because the pouty Luke was now in Michael’s arms, and the taller boy kissed his head.

“What?” Calum rolled his eyes. “You show affection really weirdly.”

“Eh, whatever.”

“You’re gonna pay for anything you broke, okay?” Luke said sternly, trying to cover up that he hadn’t just gotten a bit teary-eyed at spilling hair-care products. Michael just laughed and walked off toward his bedroom, closing the door.

“So, did he break anything?” Calum asked as Ashton went inside the bathroom, looking around and being careful not to step on full bottles, and he saw empty bottles littering the bathtub. Ashton saw the conditioner bottle in the bathtub, half poured out into it. _So that must’ve been the one he was working on_.

“No. He squeezed out like, ten bottles already though.”

Calum groaned and the trio could hear Michael cackling from his room, followed by, “I only squeezed out those ones!”

Luke was staring straight ahead at all the bottles and combs and straighteners Michael had pulled out, muttering out, “I hate this band.” Calum turned, walking over to Michael’s door and started out growling things to him, about how he shouldn’t be laughing and that he should clean it up. Ashton sighed, rolling his eyes and started to help Luke clean up the mess (well, not really, Ashton started taking selfies).

Whenever Ashton told Luke that Michael tweeted about what he did and how it was funny, Luke completely started to wail. The yelling that was coming from the hallway stopped, and the trio could hear Michael stop laughing.

Ashton turned back whenever he heard the door open, and he watched from the bathroom as Michael stepped out slowly, watching Luke bawling -- and _fuck_. He fucked up. _Big time_.

Calum could see Michael start to slowly shake, since Luke was watching him whenever he walked out and Michael lowered his head, his hands clenching up into fists. “D-Dammit,” he mumbled out, starting to cry and that sound almost wanted to make _Calum_ cry.

“Now they’re both crying…” Calum muttered. Ashton coughed, standing up and stood there awkwardly.

“Alright, since I’m the apparent peacemaker, whenever Calum gets involved -- which he isn’t, but still -- Michael, apologize. Now.” Ashton said, crossing his arms as the youngest boy stood shakily.

Almost immediately, Michael’s head snapped up and he quickly said that he was sorry, that it was supposed to be funny and he got a little carried away because he was just jealous, and that almost wanted to make Luke cry even harder. Instead, they stepped toward each other clumsily embraced, crying into each other’s shoulders. Ashton looked at Calum, and Calum looked back, noticing how awkward it was a little and they mentally decided to leave them alone, after completely agreeing that _Michael is crazy, that boy is crazy_. Calum stepped forward and closed the bathroom door, leaving the two outside and the drummer inside, so they could clean it up while Michael and Luke calm down.

Michael pulled the boy closer to him, mumbling out, “I’m sorry, Lukey…”

Luke giggled a little, telling Michael that it was okay and that they should go calm down and then all watch a movie later with pizza. Luke looked up, pushing at his fringe and Michael laughed, muttering out that his fringe actually was kinda cool. “Nah, it wasn’t, but thanks…” The smaller boy shrugged a bit and Michael wiped their tears, even if that made Luke blush.

(Luke might’ve even tried to stand on his tiptoes to kiss Michael’s head in return for the tall blond doing it to him).

After the gels and hair-care products were picked up, Michael paid for pizza for all four to have, while Luke picked out the movie that him and Ashton were originally going to watch. Calum stepped into the kitchen after the pizza was delivered, while the other two were out on the couch eating their pizza. Michael had been in the kitchen for another drink, and Calum got up after him, following him, cornering him by the fridge.

“Alright, no more pranks like that where it made you and him cry, okay? Or I’ll behead you. And you're paying for everything that you poured out.” Calum whispered and Michael snickered, smiling a bit, even if he did have other plans for pranks, planned out for other days.

“Yeah, okay.” He said, nodding his head. “I believe you. Let’s get back to the movie, okay?”

And Luke cuddled up to Michael the whole time the movie played, and Michael was more than okay with that.

**.x.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays, nadine! xx

**Author's Note:**

> there’s a little bonus chapter one-shot thingie that i’m gonna add as like a little second chapter because we also talked about it over the comments and it was just funny so i had to put it in there. xx
> 
> also sorry this is like all over the place whoops


End file.
